I was having dinner this week with my spiritual mentor, and I was telling her how much I love teaching high school and how much better this year is going. And she quickly responded, but that is what you do, not who you are. Now, she has told me that before, but for whatever reason, this time it really hit home…
Yes, I love my job; I’m 100% dedicated to my students, and I want to be the best teacher I can be. But that is not what gives me value or defines who I am.
So last night I really got to thinking about that, and I realized teaching is not the only thing I throw myself into and then lose myself in… The truth is I love to please people; whatever it is that you are looking for, I’ll do it (not like in a peer pressure way). But I love to make people laugh. I love to be people’s best friend. I love to be popular. And I realize there are worse problems to have, and sometimes my people pleasing isn’t fake, because I’m naturally a very agreeable and friendly person. However, I think it is a fine line, and sometimes I need to really check my motives, especially when I begin to find my value in the things I do.
That is hard.
I don’t even know how I begin to separate who I am and what I do….
Song of Songs 4:9-12
9 You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.
10 How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume
more than any spice!
11 Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;
milk and honey are under your tongue.
The fragrance of your garments
is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
12 You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.