Cody and I are about to go to a wedding, so I’m sitting here all dressed up with my hair and makeup done trying to get this written. I have about 15 mins…
I talked to my sister last night. It went ok. We didn’t really talk about any issues; we just said we will try again to be friends. But I’m starting to see what my therapists has been saying, I don’t think my sister can be who I want her to be. I tried to tell her about how hard this summer was when I was struggling with bipolar depression, and her response was “I get it”. And I just wanted to say, no you don’t get it, you are not bipolar. I tried to tell her how hard this year has been with my hospitalization and my diagnosis and her response was “my year has been hard too”. I just felt like there was no empathy, no understanding that this has been the hardest year of my life. I shouldn’t have been surprised. She did this when we traveled to Thanksgiving together last year. I was complaining about not being able to drink because of my medication and her response was “I’m tired of you complaining”. She just isn’t very empathetic and it made me realize that she can’t be the person I need her to be. It makes me sad….
Now I just hope we can sort of repair this relationship. We ended the conversation by saying we would talk to this week and try to see each other over Christmas. I’m nervous still and I hope we can kind of go back to normal. Do you think it is possible there are hurts that we are just unable to come back from? I’m just going to try as hard as I can to be warm and friendly and hopefully over time this will be fixed..
Ok, time to go.